And Thus, it rained.

The smoke hazed pass me as usual of the days that went. You couldn't see far throughout that greyish air that surrounds you. For me, i could see the first house...2nd house...I swore there was a 3rd house right after that. I moved a few steps onward, and there it appeared. Imagining stuffs like this in your lungs just gives you that sickened tingling feeling, that sort of feeling where in the end you'll just practice the usual phrase "what could a speck like me do anyway? Better just shroud in with the crowd!" That oh so bothersome face! Life goes on anyway.

Mornings was of such normality. You go to class, meet certain people, do some research. It has become a routine as the days passes by. You couldn't really differentiate whether today was tomorrow, or it was just a frank yesterday. ( i messed up so many times with that watch of mine that displays merely numbers...) One thing's for sure, i knew immediately that the next day, was a Friday. Couldn't have gone any wronger.

I went for the usual piano class as it has been for two weeks now. Independence is such a clingy feeling in the emotions of us youth. I could just remember so vividly that day where I longed to do everything on my own. It wasn't long ago i suppose. Now finally having doing it myself, i get a mixed reaction of many. It feels rather fun and exciting to be able to roam the whole historical city alone. Alone...why does that word rings that much of an existence to me?

It was that night of all 5 hours wasted in the city i came back. The bus stopped quite far from the place i actually stayed. Long walks in the night begins again! Couldn't help it, its not like the LRT even exists here. It was rather a fancy night as i strolled pass by mamak stalls from the bazaar. It was the fasting month, therefore covered hairs from colourful satin like cloths was seen swarming that dark stretch of hive. The food wasn't appealing...never was. All food with red mixtures of orange was too far of a common thing to look at. I had enough alright. I passed by a chinese convenience stall in which they sold lotus paste mooncakes! The moon festival is nearing, various paste of such will appear soon for my likes of consumption!

Salam came. He was my group representative. I never knew his full name, everybody just called him Salam. He was one of those crazy types and yet matured in his work. He is indeed responsible for everything to do with our class afterall. One thing about him that never softened my liking towards him is his smoking attitude. Day and night and more to go on, he just sits there alone and smokes. Looks like Dunhill from afar... He came by with his motorcycle. "Jom Low saya hantar you pulang!" I was on the phone with my mom at that time walking back home. Having an offer for a ride i took it straight away, could save me some muscle cells in my legs. I was really thankful he came by and helped me home. He even said "lain kali saya boleh hantar balik lagi!" and with that group rep style faced, gave me some sort of a grin, and left.

He died the next day. It was a Friday alright. He crashed into a lorry. They say he was bringing lecture notes for us like he always did... just that this time around the notes never made it to us. Classes got canceled that day. I went to his funeral. Religion doesn't matter much in circumstances like this. There were 3 other chinese accompanying me anyway. The whole course people went too. When all of us were there, Salam's body was still on the way. They sat and prayed and prayed. I just sat still. Outside, it rained. Drizzles... slow small droplets. Looked like snow.

At the cemetery site, the grievous mood was still there. Everybody looked dull... as if every drop of energy that contained within them got sucked in to the depths of their bones. A hand patted my right shoulder. " Low, kali ini, mahu saya hantar u balik tak? Motor saya depan saja kali ini. Tuuuu, tengah tengah lori itu harh!" He looked like Salam. Heck, it was him.

*in memoir of Salam, our beloved group leader who passed away on 28/9/2009

Creation of Blog = Loneliness of such

I realised that creating a blog may also mean a person may be lonely enough?

if u dont think so..then i would say I do...
there are certain people who create blogs so that they can only let certain private people read it... like a friend of mine, i quoteeeee siao zha bo : i put my blog in private ! so i can let my BF see only!( let that be in a near future thing for her as i doubt in any near future she would have a bf to read her stuffs only haha!)

Meh speaking aobut loneliness, it is another nobody have anything to do with me day again! Lol i only said this after a meal in the canteen again. Its puasa season so like the canteen is practically empty, only remaining chinese groups remain intact. Den only i realise, i'm not with any group at all afterall =.=" where are my "friends"? Did i left them far behind me, or like....their the one letting me wonder off all alone.... so i sat there eating extra pedas ( i tend to have a liking for pedas malay'ish stuffs lately) fried rice...and like...staring at other people, with other people staring back at me.

Heck... as if i care right ? My phones dead too...battery recently sucks like shit dont know why. Used too long? Meh nid spend more $ buy new batteries...

and to curb with the lonesome problem, my roommate has been constantly nagging about finding a girl for me. That actually made situation worst..cause like...it'll never...happen anyway :(

Time to share a secret... i have this feeling...(always had actually) that if i manage to find a girlfriend of such, then i'll know no matter what i do or where i am, there'll at least be somebody to ask me that...rather than...another day of lonely cili eating in the cafeteria....

stupid perasan post. Further new posts in this blog will be more or less the same somesort anyway

1st post yo !

Oukay.... i've finally decided to start blogging! I realised in times like these where ur stuck in a place all alone..not enough credit to always call closed ones, having people around you who are just to big mouthed, too canot understand, and too whatever not suitable stuffs to tell and share them inner feelings with... the only remaining option is to blog ! Meh, though almost nobody will ever come to this blog to check out stuffs anyway like how other people's blogs are just as dead! So like...1st post...yo low....welcome to the blogging world (=.="")