Those holidays worth memories, feels like camp. ( part 1 )

lama juga i din blog..since balik from malacca LOL...final typing before i actually tidur haha!
anyway.

I was just heading my way to the house of CF1's, Chinese First Years for short. Louis actually stays with them. They were practically the only gang i seriously rely to in life for times of support and needs of wisdom in that area. They are afterall, older, and respectable. Well in some sense where days are not filled with cockroaches crawling within their bedrooms~ Alas, this is not a story on the CF1's in the first place. Other days would of seem more fitting for a post for the CF1's.

As said, it was that moment the news was spread. Holidays is being put forth earlier by two whole whopping days yeah ! It was then the 13th i actually went back. Somehow, rather, i had no feelings going home just yet. It wasn't there.

My first few days of homecoming felt bland. Dull. It was the usual biologically messed up life that i am encountering all over again. Sleeping at awfully late hours and such... as i am again currently typing this at a very biologically messed up time. There were then a couple of events that made my whole week here somewhat memorable too. Its good to have them told eh?

Stories from Jo~
The day was somewhat dark, deep motions of emptiness warps endlessly infront of me. Heck, my whole room was dark due to curtains anyway. The difference from the common basic hostel life of lousy curtains, which lets sunlight slips just so damn easily through the windows. Just so, simple.

The piano tune playing on my phone went off. It was a message tune, Jason Lo's Operator the line is dead was somewhat muffled under my pillow. Donut Junior messaged, invitation to attend upperstar for dinner. Dont that just sound fancy as always? In my mind i was already imagining that forever awesome potato crust pizza. Lamb grilled.

Being in the presence of SAM mates once again feels really, homey. The existence of people you did the most with really gives a toll in ones sensitive side. My first appearance to them was simple. "U sick Anaroxic Bastard"... Apparently the gang felt that i have grown just so much skinnier than before. Even my strong right seemed to lose its edge. Thats the purpose of me going to upperstar that night anyway! Hopefully to gain a few pounds!

Attendees that night was as usual, loving couple Junior Classy Indian and CC. Mafia Ash was there too. Kimumu made her appearance soon enough with this guy, Adam. They seemed so pretty close. Fondling each other and such. Yeah, abide sounding really wrong, that's what they seem to be doing nevertheless, ( no offenses of such! ) then again the other loving couple made its way to the floor, Mr GiuffBall and Princess Fiona. Lastly came Chloe and Johngu with ever same ol' Jane. Usual chats were catched up. It was really nice as i could feel the atmosphere around me. Hyped, and cheerful.

Pictures do say more on current emotions that night afterall.


( same ol' jane, with me next and kimumu with DOnut Jr )
( that bill actually stated Rm359 smth smth... next round, my turn!)

Then again, i'll save next post for events i'll try to remember, in this long holiday. Just, really long.

All that glitters that night, were stones.

Man, this post is late for exactly a week! LOL...i'm typing this at 1.53 am..screw... its one week and a day late... haha..anyway, here it goes. Arh, before that, the 1st pic i gona post for this blog! LOL... testing arr :p









( me with miss khoo! stupid eyeliner... make me look gay LOL )




( doing work! )






















( committee members rawkS!)










Have you ever seen those stones, grubble, just beside diamonds ? Have stones ever thought that, just by an inch, a speck of chemical reaction maybe, that it could finally unveil itself into really,just a beautiful diamond.

It was prom day, it came. Not like the average student, i manage to attend prom twice within three months! For some people who have never attended prom before, it wasn't really a pleasant feeling either. Jealousy is of little matter in situations like these. Being an emcee again for the night, i could only imagine one thing as soon as i woke up that saturday, mistakes. I kept having flashes of "You Will SUrely Scre This 1 Up Big Time!" flashing throughout my head. * Whish wash whish!* I was suppose to finish it of in chinese tonight, a language, sadly, i never was good at. Arh, memories do recall me of having nearly flunked my initial stages of mandarin learning!

i got prepared. i had to go early, apparently the team was kind of enough to even prepare make up teams for us all. The make up studio was indeed classy, like those nifty make up rooms u see in movie scenes, mirrors of all sizes and such. That lady even inflicted eye liner on me, one thing i would forever remember among the stupidest things i've ever sincerely agree on. Together on me that night was something i've never attempted before, utter formalness. I had a coat on, a big brown striped tie, brown black striped shirt, black slacks, leather shoes. Arh, imagine not?

Emcee'ing was not my biggest threat for my heart that night anyway, never was. I have a partner, not a partner in some many other ways, an emcee partner. She's called Juanna. The finest little thing that could ever come by you in probably gazillion years to come. All the more finer as her green dress blooms of scent that just suits the air around that night. It just suits. Ever since meeting her on day 1 in campus, she always had that vibrant glow. Makes u just want to take a rock, rub it on her, and slowly watch it peeling of its gray shuddered skin and slowly forms into that transparent crystal like material.

The emcee'ing part went smoothly, our chemistry somewhat suited well enough. I did messed up my words a bit here and there but, it happens eh? She was beside me, that was good enough. The night went smoothly, including her tedious task of swapping clothes in an instant! She was a dancer too, and she danced really well. I heard her teacher or dance therapist was this girl whom i accidentally stumbled upon her blog in search of prom pics, Marilyn Leo. I'd say she'd did a really nice job. The dance was entertaining enough, kudos much!

Going around talking and coordinating the whole program, i nearly forgotten the most important thing that i plan and intended to do that night, buying her a rose. I rushed to the booth, alas, it was the last rose of the night! i told myself "wow...was i lucky or what?!" It did not feel that right anyway after that. That time, it was the ball dance section, where everybody just got into circles and dance with their favorable partners. I made my way, and finally found Juanna on the other side of the hall. I grabbed her, and danced with her instantly. She did not seem to mind.

It was dancing halfway with her, the rose i bought, i took it out, handed it to her hand, and looking her straight, i just told her "This rose...it was the last one. I managed to buy it for you..." She looked at me, and said thank you, with just that really simple smile.

"Why dont you just go and find other girls to dance with Jason?" she said, her smile did
not fade.

i just went behind the stage, and sat there. i no logner had the mood to dance. And from there, i could see, Jeremy, her dance partner, holding her hand, and dragging her to another place to just dance with her. She was always on Jeremy, talked much about him. Always, there was him, Jeremy. His a nice guy, really nice.

And you just wonder, if you just have went a little closer, and u received that same chemical reaction you are suppose to have with that diamond, you could turn yourself into a diamond too. Alas, you just sit there all alone.

"Hi, i'm made of granite, people call me stone. My mom always say, think yourself as the best, always. That makes me better than miss diamond over there already, all together."

*in memorium on what happened on the 5th of september, 2009. UTeM Fancy Duet Prom Night~

And Thus, it rained.

The smoke hazed pass me as usual of the days that went. You couldn't see far throughout that greyish air that surrounds you. For me, i could see the first house...2nd house...I swore there was a 3rd house right after that. I moved a few steps onward, and there it appeared. Imagining stuffs like this in your lungs just gives you that sickened tingling feeling, that sort of feeling where in the end you'll just practice the usual phrase "what could a speck like me do anyway? Better just shroud in with the crowd!" That oh so bothersome face! Life goes on anyway.

Mornings was of such normality. You go to class, meet certain people, do some research. It has become a routine as the days passes by. You couldn't really differentiate whether today was tomorrow, or it was just a frank yesterday. ( i messed up so many times with that watch of mine that displays merely numbers...) One thing's for sure, i knew immediately that the next day, was a Friday. Couldn't have gone any wronger.

I went for the usual piano class as it has been for two weeks now. Independence is such a clingy feeling in the emotions of us youth. I could just remember so vividly that day where I longed to do everything on my own. It wasn't long ago i suppose. Now finally having doing it myself, i get a mixed reaction of many. It feels rather fun and exciting to be able to roam the whole historical city alone. Alone...why does that word rings that much of an existence to me?

It was that night of all 5 hours wasted in the city i came back. The bus stopped quite far from the place i actually stayed. Long walks in the night begins again! Couldn't help it, its not like the LRT even exists here. It was rather a fancy night as i strolled pass by mamak stalls from the bazaar. It was the fasting month, therefore covered hairs from colourful satin like cloths was seen swarming that dark stretch of hive. The food wasn't appealing...never was. All food with red mixtures of orange was too far of a common thing to look at. I had enough alright. I passed by a chinese convenience stall in which they sold lotus paste mooncakes! The moon festival is nearing, various paste of such will appear soon for my likes of consumption!

Salam came. He was my group representative. I never knew his full name, everybody just called him Salam. He was one of those crazy types and yet matured in his work. He is indeed responsible for everything to do with our class afterall. One thing about him that never softened my liking towards him is his smoking attitude. Day and night and more to go on, he just sits there alone and smokes. Looks like Dunhill from afar... He came by with his motorcycle. "Jom Low saya hantar you pulang!" I was on the phone with my mom at that time walking back home. Having an offer for a ride i took it straight away, could save me some muscle cells in my legs. I was really thankful he came by and helped me home. He even said "lain kali saya boleh hantar balik lagi!" and with that group rep style faced, gave me some sort of a grin, and left.

He died the next day. It was a Friday alright. He crashed into a lorry. They say he was bringing lecture notes for us like he always did... just that this time around the notes never made it to us. Classes got canceled that day. I went to his funeral. Religion doesn't matter much in circumstances like this. There were 3 other chinese accompanying me anyway. The whole course people went too. When all of us were there, Salam's body was still on the way. They sat and prayed and prayed. I just sat still. Outside, it rained. Drizzles... slow small droplets. Looked like snow.

At the cemetery site, the grievous mood was still there. Everybody looked dull... as if every drop of energy that contained within them got sucked in to the depths of their bones. A hand patted my right shoulder. " Low, kali ini, mahu saya hantar u balik tak? Motor saya depan saja kali ini. Tuuuu, tengah tengah lori itu harh!" He looked like Salam. Heck, it was him.

*in memoir of Salam, our beloved group leader who passed away on 28/9/2009

Creation of Blog = Loneliness of such

I realised that creating a blog may also mean a person may be lonely enough?

if u dont think so..then i would say I do...
there are certain people who create blogs so that they can only let certain private people read it... like a friend of mine, i quoteeeee siao zha bo : i put my blog in private ! so i can let my BF see only!( let that be in a near future thing for her as i doubt in any near future she would have a bf to read her stuffs only haha!)

Meh speaking aobut loneliness, it is another nobody have anything to do with me day again! Lol i only said this after a meal in the canteen again. Its puasa season so like the canteen is practically empty, only remaining chinese groups remain intact. Den only i realise, i'm not with any group at all afterall =.=" where are my "friends"? Did i left them far behind me, or like....their the one letting me wonder off all alone.... so i sat there eating extra pedas ( i tend to have a liking for pedas malay'ish stuffs lately) fried rice...and like...staring at other people, with other people staring back at me.

Heck... as if i care right ? My phones dead too...battery recently sucks like shit dont know why. Used too long? Meh nid spend more $ buy new batteries...

and to curb with the lonesome problem, my roommate has been constantly nagging about finding a girl for me. That actually made situation worst..cause like...it'll never...happen anyway :(

Time to share a secret... i have this feeling...(always had actually) that if i manage to find a girlfriend of such, then i'll know no matter what i do or where i am, there'll at least be somebody to ask me that...rather than...another day of lonely cili eating in the cafeteria....

stupid perasan post. Further new posts in this blog will be more or less the same somesort anyway

1st post yo !

Oukay.... i've finally decided to start blogging! I realised in times like these where ur stuck in a place all alone..not enough credit to always call closed ones, having people around you who are just to big mouthed, too canot understand, and too whatever not suitable stuffs to tell and share them inner feelings with... the only remaining option is to blog ! Meh, though almost nobody will ever come to this blog to check out stuffs anyway like how other people's blogs are just as dead! So like...1st post...yo low....welcome to the blogging world (=.="")